time

Time is a funny thing.

At times it feels like this day will never end. Like this hour has stretched out into three or four.
And then you look up and realize it’s a whole new week. Or month. Or year. (Cue the FRIENDS theme now )
And for the life of you, you can’t put your finger on how it managed to fly by SO quickly.

Life has changed so much since the last time I blogged, yet some things have remained ever so perfectly the same. We’ve had high and lows, laughter and crying, working and playing. We’ve experienced a pandemic, and everything that comes with it. The world all but stopped; we got a crazy amount of quality time with family, even if some of it, ok a lot of it, was spent wanting to strangle each other. There was a national shortage of toilet paper for crying out loud!

I remember the last few weeks of 2019 and how excited I was to leave it behind and start fresh in a whole new year. 2019 was hard for us. We started the year off in the hospital with Matt more seriously ill than I ever like thinking about, and honestly it seemed to set the tone for the rest of the year. Don’t get me wrong, there was more good in it than I ever thought possible – but man, it completely sucked a lot of the time. Or so we thought. Surprise! We found ourselves starting 2020 off in almost the exact same fashion – except this time it was Logan in the hospital. After a bout of appendicitis, surgery and a tough recovery, we finally got him healthy again. Just in time for the coronavirus pandemic to hit. In my wildest dreams I could never have imagined just what all the last 9-10 months would bring. Oh 2020, I was happy to see you come, but man was I ecstatic to see you leave!

But y’all – through it all… God!

As I’m writing this I keep singing in my head, Bethel Music & Jenn Johnson’s “Goodness of God”,
“I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God”

Whew! That says it 1000x better than I ever could – gosh it’s powerful!

It’s so easy to get bogged down in this past year and how hard and difficult and straight up weird it all was. But every time the negative comes up, this song fills my head… Every. Single. Time.
We didn’t just have a pandemic, complete with 2 months of quarantine. God slowed us down. He changed our perspective.
Not only did I become a teacher overnight, I got to become a fisherman with Mae Harper. Restaurants and stores shut down, but I got to spend every day in the kitchen with our family in some form or fashion. And something I never thought I’d see, actually happened – the doors to our church building were closed. BUT I got to worship with my family in our living room; I got to stand and read His word with those I love most. And I got to fall on my knees in prayer to Him, at an altar of an ottoman in my living room (which almost seems laughable), with the biggest earthly blessings He’s given me.

He changed my perspective. He changed my expectations. He even changed my comfort level with so many things!

In the fall of 2018, God truly led Matt and me through the fire. It was by far the darkest night either of us had ever experienced, and we have without a doubt lived in the goodness of God. He’s our Comeback Story! As hard and painful as that period was for us, what came from those ashes is immeasurably worth it. Grace and mercy and redemption – that’s our story now. And I feel like God used 2020 and everything that came with it, to make us take a breath and appreciate what He has so graciously given us when we are so undeserving.

Several weeks ago I took a quiz (I know, I know…but trust me it’s not like finding out which fast food item you would be) from DaySpring to find out what my 2021 Word of the Year would be, and I have to say I wasn’t completely sold with my answer!
Overcome
At first I thought this couldn’t be legit because I’ve overcome so much the past few years, I really felt like I’m mostly past that and I’d be focused more on something like diving deeper into my faith or my walk with Him. And then I read the verse that came with it:
“The Lord your God is the One who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Ok Lord, You got me…. And my pride.
I have overcome a lot the past few years (cue the violins). But ohhhh the things I’ve still got to overcome! For the past little bit, I’ve felt Him pushing me towards something I’m just not comfortable with – not one bit. So I’ve pushed back, and dug my heels in, and tried to ignore the tug I keep feeling from Him. And honestly, at this point in my life I should know better; His plan, not mine. Every time.
If He’s leading me towards something, He promises to be right there with me through it all. Regardless of how big or small.

So here’s to OVERCOMING in 2021!

I let my writing take a back burner for too long. It’s time to change that and follow where He’s leading me. We’ve had some life changes that I can’t wait to tell you about (eeeekkk!!) , yet we’re also still gloriously predictable/boring/unexciting as ever.
The Mangold’s are taking 2021 by the horns…. With a little caution, a lot of love and a whole lot of faith! Stay tuned!

Redeemed,
Lauren